The Beer Drinking Contest March 1987

Laughter filled the air as I sat
at my dining room table eating pizza with my
Terry, and the kids.
We were celebrating the Seahawks playoff win
in history.  The Seahawks were going to the Superbowl!
We want to go to the Super Bowl.
"Isn't there some contest you kids
could enter to win free Super Bowl tickets?"
I said and pondered if I had ever won a
ticket to a sports game.
And then it came back to me...
I was standing shoulder to shoulder in
the middle of twelve twenty-one year old
girls in the Houston Sheraton hotel bar.
We had lived there for four weeks for
flight attendant training and had four
more weeks until graduation.
At twenty-nine, I was considered a dinosaur
by the younger girls and ignored by most
as being too old and "Uncool."
The radio announcer motioned for silence and said
into the microphone, "And now, live from
the airport Sheraton, we have a dozen
beautiful girls in stewardess training
drinking beer to try to win tickets to
the Astrodome. The winner will sit in
our press box for the live coverage as our
Astros take on the Montreal Expos."
I was not nervous at all at I summoned
the spirits of my drunken German ancestors.
"One, two, three, GO!"
I tipped my bottle and my head back as far as
it would go and let them meet happily.
"Eight seconds!" We have a winner.
I just smiled at the catty little brats
and stepped forward and claimed my two tickets.
"Thank you and see you at the game!"
I said to the announcers.

The Good Kick

I was walking down the sidewalk to my van after work
and six 5th grade boys were playing soccer.
When the ball came near I asked, "My turn?"
The big boy said, "If you can get it from me."
He lost control and I kicked it
and it went through the legs of all five boys behind him.
We were all astonished & laughed and laughed.
They asked my name and I told them
and as I walked away I could still hear
them laughing and shouting at each other,
"Dude! You got played by Mrs. Nixon!"

The Christmas Party

I looked at Terry all cold and wet as I sat
in my recliner in my PJs all toasty and said,
"If you are too tired to go, we don't have to."
It was eight o'clock at night and he had just
gotten back home from delivering mail in the rain.
"No Honey, I think it is important since you are new
to go socialize with the teachers from Blackwell.
Let me get my bathrobe.
Now are you SURE it is a pajama party?"
I assured him it was and we would have a super-fun time.
As we wound our way to Ken's house I peered out
at the black, rainy night and said, "Gosh, I haven't been on
this road since I delivered mail on Dave Graham's
route in 1980. It still looks exactly the same."
It had been pajama day at Blackwell elementary
so I didn't need to change clothes after work.
At lunchtime, our school secretary, Lisa, said everyone
had to come to the party in their pajamas. Everyone at the table
said it was a great idea....
We entered the party and I was excited to introduce
my funny mailman to my delightful co-workers.
Not one of the forty people enjoying drinks and food
had on pajamas.  Except Lisa.
They ALL turned to look at the late arrivals
and had on the BIGGEST SMILES.

Raccoon Hat Soup

For costume day at work today,
I borrowed Terry's size 2X Daniel Boone shirt.
I pulled it over a bulky sweater but it was still baggy.
My pal Ruthie had a raccoon get in her chicken coop in 1985
and Johnnie took care of of the problem and made her a hat.
She gave it to me thirty years ago and it STILL stinks.
I added the hat to my costume and got to work.
I told the office manager, Jennifer, I was Luranna Boone,
Daniel's sister and frontier librarian.
I was in my broom closet/office when the
nosy kindergartners came to get their coats for recess.
As usual, a half dozen squished into my office
to see what I was doing. My hat was a big hit
and they took turns sniffing it and petting it
and saying, "Ewww..." Little Zachary looked up
at me and said, "Can we boil it for soup?"
From the Frontier Librarian Cookbook comes
the recipe for Hat Soup:
1 Boil the hat
2 Add salt and pepper
3 Make Zach try it first

Topless in Tahiti

"We've been swimming over four hours,
let's stop at that raft for a rest."
Kelly and Hugo and I were bored
sitting around the pool day after day
waiting for a 747 crew to call in sick
or go past duty regs.
The fourteen of us sitting reserve in Tahiti
couldn't believe our good fortune.
Three days ago I was laying on Sandy Beach,
south of Honolulu with three other
reserve flight attendants when Ellen Sue's
pager went off. She dashed to the pay phone
and came back screaming five minutes later
that she had been scheduled to deadhead to Tahiti
to sit reserve for seven days to cover sick calls.
Debbie and Kiki and I jumped to our feet and
raced to the pay phone. Debbie arrived
first was told she could go to Tahiti
and she said, "Hold on, my friends want to go too."
I was assigned the trip and so was Kiki.
Approaching Tahiti from the air took my
breath away. It was hard to imagine anywhere
prettier than Hawaii, but the endless shoals
around the tiny islands looked fantastic.
Our beachfront hotel was happy for the steady
business from Continental airlines and treated
us like royalty. Well, the front desk staff did
anyway, the barefoot maids glared at us the the
French-speaking locals were openly hostile
when we went to the store for French bread and cheese.
Every night the hotel put on fashion shows and
dance exhibits and after a few drinks
we would be asked to participate.
Jolly good fun but after three days
boredom set in and while all the girls
wanted to stay at the pool,
I needed some adventure and talked the two guys
on the crew into going snorkeling with me.
"I really need a rest guys, come along now."
We put our snorkel masks down and paddled to
the side of the raft and looked up at its occupants.
The two gorgeous girls were topless
and I managed to say, "Mind if we rest a minute?"
Kelly and Hugo couldn't speak but their
eyeballs nearly popped out of their heads
at the sight of their bare chests.
I felt embarrassed for them but it was rather funny
since normally both of them were unrepentant chatterboxes.
They spluttered and stared but no words came out and finally
the French girls managed to say in broken English,
"Go away disgusting Americans."
We paddled off and after a few more hours
in the crystal clear, warm bath-like water,
we returned our snorkel gear to the front desk
and thanked them for a wonderful outing and
told them we went to the mouth of the bay.
"But we told you to stay by the shore!"
the manager said emphatically.
"So many sharks where you decided to go."

Dream Library/Ornithology Center

I dreamed the school board gave us a building
but my library was a round building by the forest.
One side was books and the other side was tiered displays
of bird nests full of different speckled candies.
I looked out the window and a huge robin with
bright orange feathers was on a nest fanning her wings
in the sun and her chicks were too.
I turned around and the candies had turned into real eggs
but the chicks were hatching fully formed
into tiny two inch long beautiful birds.
I lean over and stare at the tiny mockingbird.
She fans her white and black wings
and I examine the tiny feathers,
looking closely at the black and white contrast.
My heart seems to grow bigger as I study the feathers
and I am filled to overflowing happiness.

Quail On The Run

I could see the top of the knee high grass moving
like in the movie Jurassic Park when the velociraptors
went hunting as my quails were on the run.
I could hear them trilling below the swaying swamp grass as
they dashed to freedom along the fence line and into the brambles.
I felt sad and proud like I felt on Troy's first day of
kindergarten as he climbed up those huge
steps of the school bus that would take him away
towards future independence.
The song, "Band on the Run" began playing in
my head and I felt cheered up thinking of
how much fun it must be for my covey
exploring the wilds of the yard.
Only Helen Keller remained in the coop
pigging out on the fresh feed in the dispenser.
I sat in my lawn chair enjoying the warm sun
and after a few hours I saw them bobbing around
back to their coop. Fred came under the fence first,
followed a little later by Ginger and Ella.
Gail didn't show up for another five minutes.
She's a full-blood bobwhite and pretty wild.
I tossed a raspberry to Fred and it rolled
under the buttercups. He lunged underneath
the weeds and came up chomping the juicy fruit
then turned and shared it with the girls.
They bobbed around the yard for a half hour
cooing and trilling before hopping back up
in their coop. After much burrowing in their
fresh pine shavings they all fell asleep in
the sun. I closed and latched the coop door.
Content knowing my little flock was safe.