How My Tom's Deoderant Made Me Gain Five Pounds

Last month after Brenny and I shopped for
unmentionables, we stopped at
Kenmore Super Supplements
so she could pick up some stuff.
I was looking for deodorant
made with natural ingredients.
Well, Brenny told me she liked Tom's.
I'm picky about smells so I smelled several
until I found peach.
It smelled like a juicy peach
and I got pretty excited
but trouble started the next day.
After I put on my new peach deodorant
I did my Jane Fonda exercise tape and the next thing
you know, I smelled like a giant peach pie baking!
I went crazy when I smelled that smell!
I craved grilled cheeseburgers, potato salad
corn on the cob, watermelon
and WARM PEACH PIE WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM!
So we had to have that for dinner a few days.
The next thing you know
I had gained five pounds.
Yikes.
Lucky for me, Tom's deodorant comes in a very tiny
amount for a very high price.
Way out of my league.
So I'm back to my cheap Suave Ocean Fresh deodorant
which smells unfoodlike and costs half as much.