Mail Theft Hurts Nursing Mother

I was sunk back into my little green recliner
on my heating pad feeling content after a lovely
dinner of eggplant towers over vegeburgers.
I heard Terry come in the basement door and
hollered a greeting and waited for him to come upstairs.
Five minutes later he plopped down in his recliner
and said, "The strangest thing happened on my
mail route today. You won't believe it."
I was thinking after my own ten years of odd happenings
and his thirty years of odd happenings, I had heard it all.
Boy was I wrong.
"Last month I was training a new carrier and when he saw
the outgoing mail in a small box he got all excited.
He said his wife ordered these special lactation cookies
from the lady on my route."
I had never heard of lactation cookies so I asked how
his customer got beer into cookies.
"I don't know what's in them but that's not the strange
part of the story. The police were there when I pulled
up and the lady ran over to me and told me that
ten minutes before I arrived she saw a man in a hoodie
steal her outgoing box of lactation cookies from her mailbox.
What do you think of that hon?"  He asked.
I thought about how horrible it was to steal from
a new mother having troubles and what I thought
the worst thing that thief deserved.
"I hope he eats that whole box and
starts lactating."