Boneless at the Nudie Spa

After a few splashes of hot mugwort water,
I followed Mary to the hottest hot pond at the nudie spa.
It was our fourth visit so we knew the routines fairly well
and I didn't expect anything new.
I was wrong about that.
Usually the clientele is about ninety percent older,
pleasingly plump ladies such as ourselves.
We must have missed the ad for Young Person Day
because as I sat down and let the jets work their
magic on my achy old bones, I noticed it was only ten percent
older ladies and ninety percent under fifty.
I saw more of normally hidden tatoos than I needed to.
I thought I was in an episode of "Orange is the New Black!"
Mary pointed to a sign on the wall indicating fake
organic snow to drop from the ceiling every two hours
and I thought that sounded wonderful.
We soaked and rotated into the steam room for
a few hours until our massages, then put our
spa robes over our boneless bodies for lunch in the tiny cafe.
I looked at the clock and was filled with excitement.
It was time to get in the middle hot pond for the snow show.
Mary didn't want to lose her massage oils so I climbed
down into the pond and felt a thrill as the fake snow
cascaded from the ceiling vent.  It was beautiful!
I unsuccessfully tried to catch one in my mouth but
managed to have a big flake land in my eye.
My eye started burning and I was in horrible pain.
Soap flake snow.