"That Gretchen is SO Stupid."

As I watched the needle on the scale creep
up, my life passed before my eyes.
The moment I had worked so hard for
for five long years had arrived.
I had been selected to be
a flight attendant and the only thing
between me and my dream job was my weight.
As I stared in horror,
the needle climbed to one hundred and thirty pounds
and I felt the floor open up under me.
Blackness and dizziness started enveloping me
and I finally heard a distant voice saying,
"Do you think you can lose that last five pounds
by training? You have six weeks before you are
scheduled in Houston."
A miracle.
It was a miracle.
After eating 1,000 calories a day for five years
I was HIRED.
"Oh yes, that will be easy." I said
smiling at the young lady in the hotel room.
Only two weeks ago I had been sorting mail
at four-thirty in the afternoon
when I overheard the mail carrier
on the next aisle over say,
"That Gretchen is SO stupid.
She never knows when to give up."