Don't Touch the Washing Machine!

I am so fed up with Terry
I can't WAIT to go to work on the ship.
Six months ago the dial on my old, rusty Maytag
began to act up.
I had to manually advance it through each cycle.
Sounds easy right?
It was for the first three months.
Then the dial and machine
had a fight and weren't talking to each other.
It was like playing roulette to rinse the clothes.
Then I'd pray to find a working spin cycle.
So two months ago, Terry decides to "FIX"
my washing machine. He snaked out the drain.
The drain wasn't broken!
But he managed to prevent the machine from draining at all.
Well, you know I am a bad wife.
I decided not to get it repaired before I fly out to work.
I have been manually wringing out the wash for two months.
I could probably beat Cassius Clay at arm-wrestling
Last week I was in my room and I could hear Terry
spinning the dial on the washing machine.
I yelled through the wall, "Don't touch the washing machine!"
I told him I had to add fabric softener.
Like I have bothered with that in twenty-five years of marriage.
When he drops me off at Sea Tac Saturday,
I just KNOW he'll get all excited to be Mr. Mom.
And then...
He will try to wash clothes. I am evil.
People are always so surprised
to find out how evil I can be.
Terry has nagged me about not having a job
just one too many times.
And now I have one.