Face Broth

I snuggled down into my folded electric blanket
and opened my latest historical romance novel
by Lisa Kleypas. The heat from the blanket
on "H" above and below me relaxed me instantly.
I couldn't see the words. Was I going blind?!
I removed my reading glasses and held them to the light
and realized I had a thick oil slick going on.
Oops. After five tries of making homemade,
chemical free beauty cream I had finally gotten it right. Almost.
(Never try to moisturize and read the same night)
My sister is starting a lotion/potion business
and had given me her recipe. Only snag was that I
have never followed a recipe in my entire life.
Just don't have the patience for details.
I ordered the shea butter and coconut butter online
then told Brenda what I was doing. She added many
suggestions until I had added glycerin, rose hip seed oil,
aloe vera, elastin and hyaluronic acid.
My only addition was almond extract.
(Maybe needed almond oil but bought what
Kookmore Safeway had to offer.)
On my first try I used my sister's recipe
and watched the DIY (Do It Yourself) video on Youtube.
Seemed easy enough and I was very excited in the
morning to slather some on my face.
I opened the jar and stuck my finger in and
was confronted by a rock hard combination of ingredients
that DID NOT stay whipped together.
I poked harder and the top crust broke and
my finger was covered in blue goo.
I poured some of that in my hand and slopped it on
my face and arms and legs thinking I'd probably
look sixteen after it soaked in.
Instead I felt sticky.
The phone rang and I told Brenda I had accidentally
made face broth and for some reason I was turning blue
and very sticky. She asked if I had read the labels
knowing darn well I hadn't.
I went upstairs and found some clean glasses and read,
"Hyaluronic acid dietary supplement in pure blueberry juice."