Monday, January 2, 2012

1/2/2011 Cabin Inspection on The Pride of America

When I saw, "Teach on a Cruise Ship"
on the internet last year, I sat right up!
I didn't know people took kids on cruises.
They wouldn't if they had MY kids.
So I popped out to Hawaii and worked on The Pride of America.
We cruised round and round the Hawaiian islands and it was a blast.
But cruise ships have a secret life.
Below decks and behind passenger areas are narrow, mysterious hallways.
They are all filled with the most
interesting people you'd ever want to meet.
I loved working on the top deck in Rascals kid center.
My coworkers were great, especially my supervisor, Goldfish.
She had recently been promoted to supervisor from youth staff
The troubles began when they hired my roommate Jitterbug.
She and I would get lost all over that ship
and were forever trying to find short cuts to our cabin.
Darn if we didn't run into Goldfish half the time
and try so hard to look unlost.
She would just roll her eyes and point us in the right direction.
Sounds easy to find your way around on a cruise ship, right?
Well, maybe for passengers that have signs and arrows!
The Pride of America is four football fields long
and fourteen decks high, not counting the engine decks.
The Rascals youth center is aft deck twelve
and our cabin was forward deck three.
I lost ten pounds just getting coffee every morning.
After eight weeks it was time to sign off
from my temporary spring break job.
Goldfish gave me a form to take around
to the five department heads to turn in manuals, uniforms etc.
The last thing on my list was: Cabin Inspection, Immediate Supervisor.
I got to 3719 and my other roommate Robby was there.
Her pal Brandon was there chatting with her.
I told her Goldfish was on her way to inspect our cabin.
Brandon got up to go and I took a good look at him.
Movie star handsome and so buff that he made
Will Smith look like little boy.
I said to Robby, "We should hide Brandon in JB's bunk for inspection."
Well, Robby, being the enthusiastic person that she is,
grabbed the ball and ran with it.
Not only did she want to prank Goldfish,
she insisted Brandon strip down to his boxers!
Now, I thought that might be going a bit too far,
but I'm not known for my good sense so I went along with it.
We had just gotten ready when
Jitterbug came flying in the cabin shouting,
"Goldfish is on her way! Look at this mess!"
She ran to her bottom bunk and threw back the curtain
and let out a blood-curdling scream
that the captain could probably hear from the bridge
and ran down the hall.
Robby and I cracked up and when
Jitterbug came back. She was so mad!
Didn't stop her from yelling at Brandon,
"Get back in there and be quiet!"
Goldfish walked in the open door
as the words left her mouth.
I said, "Goldfish, Jitterbug is such a slob!
Just look at her bunk, you should write her up."
Goldfish leaned over and pulled back the lower curtain
on the right of the bunk side and
saw what I'm sure looked like a naked man.
She stood up, looked at the three of us and said,
without cracking a smile,
"Cabin looks fine Lollipop."


























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