Tuesday, October 11, 2011

10/11/2011 Sure I Had Mace

I did use Mace once.
I was delivering mail along Magnolia Boulevard
on a sunny spring day in 1978.
As I walked past some low box hedges to a big red brick house,
a tiny wiener doggy shot out of nowhere and nipped my ankle.
I grabbed my Mace and sprayed him.
I turned that protective little dog
into a monster!
Every day for the rest of that week,
I'd be walking along
lost in my little,
Get the Right Mail in The Right Box world,
and the tiny Monster Dog
would be hiding under the box hedge waiting to attack me.
I hated that.
When I was assigned a new route down along the flats of Magnolia,
I got nervous. I had driven down 34th Avenue West
on my way back to the tiny post office on West McGraw
and noticed tons of dogs. Big dogs.
Not the tiny designer dogs of the rich people.
My first day on the route,
a huge golden lab barked at me as I approached his house.
I knew golden labs were friendly but I had a surprise for him.
I tossed him a Milk Bone.
He started following me up the street.
Then his friends showed up and I gave them all Milk Bones.
Every day for two weeks I had six dogs following me
up one side of the street and down the other.
Sure I had Mace.
But it was way more fun being the Pied Piper of Magnolia!

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