Monday, October 17, 2011

10/17/2011 Bad Jelly Rice Pudding Recipe

1 Wake up in the last week of September and notice it sprinkling
and remember you forgot to pick blackberries
2 Hit the Dogpatch blackberry patch only to find most of the
berries moldy and watery tasting and too seedy
3 Pick four cups of bad berries before getting
distracted by a woolly worm that is almost all black
4 Waste a half hour playing with it and daydreaming
about going to the woolly worm festival in North Carolina
5 Take four cups of blackberries and squeeze through
your new brown kitchen towel because your cheesecloth is MIA
6 Read your 'Putting Food By' book again about how
how our great-grandmothers made jam by 'boiling it down'
7 Try that only to disregard the recipe since you can't be bothered
8 After six hours decide it is still too runny and add
two more cups of sugar
9 Realize you made bad jelly that is now the consistency of taffy
10 Stare at it in the bowl for a week before deciding to throw it out
11 Tell Teddy that you are throwing it out only to have him tell you
not to waste food and to think of something else to put it in
12 Make some rice and add vanilla and cinnamon before boiling
13 Stir the bad jelly into the hot rice and be surprised that
Teddy was right because it melts right in!
14 Add some milk and watch with dismay as the kids gobble it down
15 Thank God that you didn't call Art at Northshore garage and tell him
that you were bringing him blackberry jelly
because it didn't work out for you

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