I was sitting with my eyes tightly closed,
stiff-armed on my hands
with my chin tucked down on my chest
running the evacuation commands through
my head over and over again,
Bend Over Heads Down! Come This Way!
JUMP AND SLIDE!"
I was as stiff as a board with fear.
I'm not afraid to fly,
I'm afraid to crash.
Watching videos of every single commercial plane crash
in history during training didn't help much either.
Still, I survived training,
went on to have a lady puke on my feet
during my first flight
and learned that I too get airsick during turbulence.
Besides all that, it was pretty exciting to use my free
flight benefits for the first time.
I got my wings in April and was still on reserve in October
and decided to go see my mom and dad in Malta Montana.
(Smallta, as mom called it)
I flew up to Billings and connected to a crop-duster to Wolf Point.
Mom and dad were so excited to see me in my uniform.
And I was happy to see them too because it
turns out I get home sick easily also.
We had a grand old time visiting for four days and my mom
gave me a big pumpkin to put in the crew room for Halloween.
Only snag is pumpkins roll during take off.
Bet ya didn't know that.
So the plane has taken off and I start breathing again
and looked down to where I had put the pumpkin
under the empty aisle seat.
It was gone.
I craned my neck to look at the aft jump-seat
and the man flight attendant was holding it on his lap.
Oh man! I was so sure I'd get fired!
A few minutes later I heard a voice say,
"Oh miss, is this your pumpkin?"
I weakly admitted to my crime and he said,
"Well, you certainly woke us up. It's not every day
a pumpkin comes hurtling down the aisle at us
like a bowling ball!"
I turned bright red and asked if I was going to get fired
and he just started laughing.
So, the moral of this story is:
When flying with pumpkins, use the overheads.
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