Saturday, October 8, 2011

10/8/2011 The Coincidental Sweater That Wasn't

Part of the job description
for being my best friend,
is helping me to shop.
I hate shopping for clothes!
To me, clothes are what you cover yourself with
to avoid being arrested for indecent exposure.
Luckily, my best friend Brenda is a clothes horse.
I'm always shocked when I look at her closet
and she can't believe I only own two pairs of jeans.
The summer of 2010 we had our 35th year
Roosevelt high school reunion.
I had bought a dress previously, but I needed cute shoes.
Brenda was in town to visit her family so I asked her for help.
I needed an expert.
We got up to Bothell to The Alligator Purse
and started browsing the racks.
I was looking at sweaters and couldn't believe my eyes.
I shouted to Brenda, who was a few racks away,
"Look! They have a sweater EXACTLY like the one
I donated to St. Vincent De Paul three years ago!
What a coincidence!"
Brenda walked over, stood close to me,
and kicked me in the shins under the clothes rack.
My eyes filled with tears of pain and shock.
"Shhhhh!" She whispered. "I just put that there."
It dawned on me that my best friend was up to no good.
Again.
I found some darling black leather high-heeled,
backless shoes with black leather roses on top
and was pretty excited. They even had fake
leopard spot linings!
When we got in my mini van and I asked Brenda what
on earth she was doing with my gray Winnie the Pooh sweater.
Turns out that after I put it on my front porch
in my donation bag three years ago,
she loved it so much that she snuck it out
without telling me.
She didn't want me to know that she had worn it three years.
Then when she got tired of it, she had smuggled it into
The Alligator Purse to get rid of it.
Can you believe that?!

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