Caution: This blog may cause
nausea. Do not read before or after meals.
So just as we were falling asleep around
ten last night I went upstairs
to remind Troy to put in his retainer.
He was already asleep and said groggily,
"I left it by the pool on a beach sheet in a bag."
I went in his room and looked at the sleepy
lump and said, "You left your retainer where?"
I remembered it. I had gone to gather up the sheets
for the laundry and seen a wadded up piece of plastic
and I had tossed it in the garbage.
Normally this wouldn't be a big deal,
but the stars were in a grand trine.
This meant anything orthodontic
would be icky and dangerous.
Terry and I shuffled up to the road
where our trash tote sat under the
beautiful full moon.
Under the moonlight we dumped the
last two bags of garbage onto the
edge of the road.
Twenty years ago this was not
what we usually did under the full moon.
I had the short straw this time
and ended up with the kitchen sack.
Luckily for Terry and unluckily for me,
he had caught a nice fat six pound
humpy salmon on the Snohomish River in
the morning. So, not only did I have the
cooked fish remains to sift through,
I also had the bloody head and spine
to add to my trauma.
Toss in the ubiquitous coffee grounds
and cantalope guts and rinds
and it was a LONG half hour.
I went through that mess three times
before I recognized the walnut-sized
wadded up Saran wrap containing
the small red prize.
Troy's retainer.
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