Teenagers have a price.
The fastest way to get them to move
is to offer cash.
Nasty jobs they do for free
always require the removal of the X-Box.
But there are a few other things teen boys enjoy.
Like sleeping over at my house
and demolishing it.
The damage is always accidental,
but still.
Luckily, I made the decision
a few years ago,
to just replace my house after they move out.
My stress level dropped to nothing.
But, we live next to a forty acre swamp
and the blackberries and volunteer trees
are constantly trying to eat the house.
So, one of my newer strategies
has been the removal of trees that
scrape the paint off my mini-van.
I can always count on Troy's best friend
Carlos to saw the trees down
in exchange for my couch.
I can't even call it my couch anymore
because it really belongs to Carlos
by squatter's rights.
So come Friday I'll have a little tree
picked out that needs to go.
While I still have paint left on my van.
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